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Connectfulness Practice

Mar 13, 2019

Cyndi Darnell is an internationally renowned sex and relationship therapist. Her approach spans the clinical to the esoteric. She’s spearheading progressive sex & relationships seminars and workshops for adults and clinicians that deeply change people’s lives. Cyndi’s on a mission to eliminate stigma from discussions around sex, erotisim and pleasure and changing our fears and transform it into freedom.


In this episode:

  • How the sexual revolution missed the boat to discuss pleasure (especially womxn’s pleasure) that center on what each individual’s motivation is. 
  • Permission to own your motivation.
  • Understanding the story that you’re holding onto that’s holding you back and causing you pain. 
  • Cyndi shares her distinct definitions of love and sex (much like chocolate and red wine).
  • Sex changes over time and so we continue to learn about ourselves. 
  • The more we experience ourselves the more we understand our motivations. 
  • Internal motivation is vital, know why you want things to change.
  • Sex can be an opportunity to live a more visceral and colorful life.
  • Erotic pleasure relates back to early childhood before we had stigmas, values and judgements placed upon us and receive the smiling gaze of another. 
  • Societal misconceptions: the body is inherently dangerous and the intellect is superior. 
  • How we participate in keeping myths alive by cutting ourselves off from our own bodies.
  • How to reconnect the body through a daily practice of tuning into the body.
  • Mastrubation as a way of intergrating erotic pleasure into your life, 
  • “Erotic Self Care”
  • Consent Culture and Sex Ed that goes beyond Abstinence, Reproduction and even Consent and includes Pleasure.
  • Tea and Consent video made an assumption that everyone likes tea: oversimplification of consent being yes vs no
  • The real question is ‘what kind of sex do you like?’ Cyndi says this is where the wheels come off for most people.
  • Making a practice of talking about sex and erotism.
  • Cyndi’s erotic awakening story.
  • Coming back to the body, that’s where the wisdom is.



Find Cyndi Darnell online at

Purchase Cyndi’s video series: The Atlas of Erotic Anatomy and Arousal

If you long to know more about erotic desire, passion, what your turn-ons are and how to communicate them with your partner/s – then join Cyndi for The Desire Series.

While these discussions will guide you into the Connectfulness Practice, the podcast is not meant to be a substitute for counseling from a licensed provider. Reach out. Initiate the ripple. Learn more about my connectfulness counseling practice and our collective for therapists in private practice here.