Feb 12, 2019
Dr. Stephen Snyder is a sex and relationship therapist,
Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of
Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City, and the author of the
acclaimed sex and relationship book, LOVE WORTH
MAKING: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting
In this episode, Dr Snyder and I discuss:
- The nature of desire and why you don’t need it.
- Why we make ourselves crazy trying to cultivate desire instead
of a-tuning ourselves to our long term partners through mindful
moments of inspiration.
- Why frustration is a good thing in relationships.
- Why your goal should be to get dumb and happy with your partner
(according to Dr. Synder, this is the ticket to keep a long term
erotic connection simmering).
- How to be seen, speak up, and find your voice.
- Selfishness + making it easy.
- Focus on wanting to consuming your partner — eroticism is about
taking selfish joy in the other person’s existence inside the
bedroom. And outside the bedroom, being able to assert what you
need, think and feel even when the other needs thinks and feels
something different; this is what creates the core of the couples
confidence and creativity together.
- Why pressure tends to make the erotic mind rebel.
- Dr Synder says “given that our erotic selves are ultimately
such small children, what we really want to do is be good parents
to our erotic children.”
- And we also touch on setting limits for ourselves in the 21st
century, especially when it comes to enactments.
Find Dr Snyder online at loveworthmaking.com and sexualityresource.com
Sometimes a change in surroundings can make all the difference.
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retreat with a personalized deep dive into Connectfulness® couple
therapy, and return home restored and deeply aware of your
relational patterns. I’m booking one Private Couples Intensive
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